Ah yes, that time of year is quickly approaching. No I’m not talking about the end of summer or the start of school or the seasonal return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte; I’m talking about auditions. Collegiate, professional, projects – whatever the team may be, it’s time to go and learn some pieces, practice your ass off, audition, and hopefully join a new dance family/return to your family having improved over the summer. Maybe you’re auditioning for your dream team, you know, the team you’ve been watching on YouTube for the past few years. Or maybe you’re reauditioning for your current team, ready to be with the people you hate to love for hours on end. With both thought processes in mind, I present to you the differences between auditioning as a newbie versus auditioning as a returner (with random gifs).

Learning the Piece.

Newb:

Alright. Must learn the piece. Must focus. Oh my gah that’s _____ I loved his piece at WOD holy crap ok LEARN. I SHOULD HAVE EATEN MORE FISH TO HELP WITH MY MEMORY.

Returner:

Alright. Must learn the piece. Must focus… because they might call all the returners for a select group or something. Hey that girl is cute, we need more cute girls on the team. I mean. Uh. She seems to have good pick up.

Groups During the Workshop.

Newb:

Ok I kind of know it, I’ll stand in the front ish center ish. I don’t want to look too cocky, but I’m confident. I think. If I blank out it’s no big deal… What’s the first move again? Wait WHAT’S THE FIRST MO- oh wait I remember.

Returner:

Ok I can’t mess up cause I’m the team and I need to set a good example for newbies and the team image. Unless I’m not on the team. Shoot. Yeah ok I’ll just stand in the corner while other groups are going and half mark/half judge newbs casually.

After the Workshop.

Newb:

Should I go up to them and say thanks? That’s the right thing to do. I’m going to go up to the friendliest looking returner… Plus maybe I’ll make friends. I should actually try and make some friends… I don’t want to go to the audition alone. Carpool anyone?

Returner:

BeTChEZ BETTER taLk 2 Me, HeLLO, NETWERKING. Just kidding, I remember when I was a newb. I’m going to go talk to some prospectives. I hope they don’t think I’m weird. Or scary. I want to intimidate them just enough, ah perfect, I’ll take another returner with me and walk around, it’s foolproof! image

Day(s) Between the Audition.

Newb:

Downloaded the mix; it’s the most played song on my iTunes right now. Watching the video on YouTube over and over, practicing my ass off. Wait what am I going to wear? Should I go for the classic jersey? What about the flannel, is that still cool? Chachi pants? Swacks? Might I sport a kendama around my neck? Should I bring a vape to spark conversation? Should I wear a shirt from another competition to subtly hint that I have some knowledge of the dance community, or is that too conspicuous? How am I getting there? Maybe I’ll carpool… Wait there’s a freestyle?! What do I do for freestyle?! I’M A CONTEMPORARY DANCER OMG HALP.

Returner:

So guys… can we wear matching outfits at auditions and do something fun for freestyle? Jw.

Audition Check In.

Newb:

Audition form, check. Picture, check. Outfit, yas. Music, on myPhone. K good thing I came early to review. Oh wow they’re so nice to me at the check in table, I hope I make it- NUMBER 1?! I’M IN THE FIRST GROUP?! I knew I should have waited in the car. Dammit. I don’t think I can do this anymore.

Returner:

So… are we in a group with returners? Or like one returner per group? Oh we’re doing that whole “professional” thing and not being friends today, exec board? Ok I see you, I see you. Good thing I practiced. And also great thing I didn’t wear team gear in case I mess up cause that would be emberrrrrrrrrrsing.

Audition Time.

Newb:

I want to be in the back line first so I can switch to the front line the second time, in case I mess up the first time. Noooooo, I’m in the front! Ok well don’t forget the choreo. Breathe. Make eye contact to show confidence. Don’t look down. Listen to the music. Don’t rush. And above all… pray I don’t freak out on the freestyle section and end up twerking or doing things that are not at all sexy but actually quite disturbing. 27 GIFs Of Taylor Swift Dancing Awkwardly In Her New Music Video 27 GIFs Of Taylor Swift Dancing Awkwardly In Her New Music Video 27 GIFs Of Taylor Swift Dancing Awkwardly In Her New Music Video 27 GIFs Of Taylor Swift Dancing Awkwardly In Her New Music Video 27 GIFs Of Taylor Swift Dancing Awkwardly In Her New Music Video 27 GIFs Of Taylor Swift Dancing Awkwardly In Her New Music Video (Thank you Buzzfeed. And TSwift, you never fail to provide fantastic dancing gifs.)

Returner:

Back right corner, aww yee that’s my spot. Let’s do this. Don’t mess up or else you’ll get a callback and it’ll be weird. Or maybe it won’t. Breathe. Ok and like I’ll be funny for a few moments during freestyle but I have to take it serious. Remember what happened last year with all of those returners who messed around the whole freestyle? They didn’t return, that’s what happened.

Audition’s Over!

Newb:

WOO it’s over! Now I get to chill out, phew. That was fun though! I hope I did okay. Hopefully they didn’t see me mess up/admired my confidence and ability to jump back into the choreo.

Returner:

Woo it’s over! Now I get to drink boba with judgey alum behind the exec board’s table. image

Callbacks?!

Newb:

OH MAN THEY JUST WANT ME TO PERFORM AGAIN SO THEY CAN LAUGH AT ME LATER. AM I THAT BAD. DID I MESS UP. I THINK I FORGOT THE CHOREO ALREADY. OH MY GOSH NUUUUUUUU.

Returner:

I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE THE TEAM AGAIN. THIS IS SERIOUS. OK FOCUS. THEY CAN’T DO THIS TO YOU MAN, THEY JUST CAN’T. I SPLIT CENTER LAST YEAR IN OPENER, I HAVE TALENT!

Audition’s Over (For Reals).

Newb:

Well all I can do is wait for the call/text/email/postcard/fax. Must stay positive. I hope I make it. I have an epic Facebook status waiting to be posted: What has two thumbs and made the team?

Returner:

I hope #1 makes the team, she was bomb. At the choreo. K cool. Time to drank. Whuuuut.     Did your auditions go something like this? Share your auditioning experience with us by commenting below! Have you caught our latest STEEZY Exchange with David Lim yet? If you haven’t, check it out now!